Monday, September 14, 2009

HUSBANDS WHO BELITTLE THEIR WIVES

THE RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN HUSBANDS AND WIVES IS COMPLEX.
SPOUSES HAVE TRHEIR OWN WAY OF RELATING TO ONE ANOTHER.
WHAT EVER THEIR STLYE, SOMETHINGS ARE JUST UNHEALTHY. AN EXAMPLE OF THIS IS BELITTLEMENT.
UNFORTUNATELY ONCE IT BEGINS IT DOES NOT STOP, IT OFTEN ESCALATES.

WHETHER HE BELITTLES HER BEHIND CLOSED DOORS OR DOES IT IN FRONT OF OTHERS, IT IS WRONG. IT IS HURTFUL AND DETRIMENTAL TO A MARRIAGE.
HUSBANDS WHO CALL THER WIVES DERAUGATORY NAMES AND CRITICIZES HER FOR JUST ABOUT ANY AND EVERYTHING, HAVE A SELF ESTEEM ISSUE . SOME NEED TO CONTROL AND ELEVATE HIS PERCIEVED POSITION OF SUPERIORTY. THERE HAVE BEEN REPORTS ABOUT A CONDITION CALLED NARCISSITIC PERSONALITY DISORDER.(BUT THATS ANOTHER SUBJECT TO ADRESS LATER).
HE MAY TELL HER SHE IS CRAZY . A BAD MOTHER, CALL HER STUPID, THEYB BELITTLE THE WIFE WITH STATEMENTS LIKE.. "IF YOU WOULDN'T ACT LIKE THAT I WOULDN'T DO THIS TO YOU. BLAMING IS A CLASSIC EXAMPLE, "EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT." I WISH I'D NEVER MET YOU" "YOU MESS UP, FUCK UP EVERYTHING" IF I HADN'T MARRIED YOU..."
MANY MEN DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH WHAT THEY ARE DOING AND BRINGING IT TO THEIR ATTENTION DOESN'T HELP.
HE WILL DENY IT AFTER ALL THE WIFE IS"ALWAYS WRONG" AND SHE IS "STUPID" AND "CRAZY".
THE HUSBAND JUSTIFIES WHAT HE SAYS BY SAYING "YOU KNOW I DIDN'T MEAN IT' AND THAT IF HIS WIFE WOULD JUST DO WHAT HE SAYS OR RESPECTED ME MORE. SOME MEN WERE ABUSED IN THIS MANNER THEMSELVES.
A WIFE OFTEN TOLERATES THIS BECAUSE SHE HAS BEGUN TO BELIEVE WHAT HER HUSBAND SAYS. OVER TIME SHE HAS LITTLE IF ANY SELF ESTEEM. NO MATTER HOW CONFIDENT OR SECURE A WIFE SHE'D BEEN .. MANY WOMEN WILL WITHDRAW AND BECOME DEPRESSED. SOMETIMES HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY EITHER HAVE NO IDEA OR ARE NO LONGER AROUND. MANY HUSBANDS ARE ABLE TO ISOLATE THEIR WIVES BY CONTROLLING FINANCES AND TRANSPORTATION OR SIMPLY PUTTING HER CHOICE OF FRIENDS DOWN. SHE FEELS ALONE AND TRAPPED.IF HE HAS NOT BELITTLED HER IN FRONT OF OTHERS SHE MAY FEAR NO ONE WILL BELIEVE THEM. IF HE HAS SHE MAY BE SHAMED.
THERE HAVE BEEN INCIDENTS OF THE EXTREME WHERE WIVES EXHIBTED DESPARATE RESPONSES...SUICIDE TO ESCAPE OR SHE MAY BECOME VERBALLY ABUSIVE BACK OR EVEN VIOLENT.
NO ONE CAN PREDICT HOW DAMAGING THE EFFECTS OF BELITTLEMENT CAN BE OR THE RESPONSE.

WIVES...IF YOU ARE BEING BELITTLED BY YOUR HUSBAND PLEASE TRY TO FIND THE COURAGE TO GET TELL SOMEONE. HUSBANDS IF YOU ARE BELITTLING HER PLEASE STOP.